If you’re going to buy that dress I found last week, you’ll probably want to buy this too. You know, for Athens:



You may have heard there are only 30 days until kickoff.
Some of you may be gettin’ your drink on with Duce on a daily basis from 1-4.
Some of you may have followed SEC Media Days from morning to night.
Some of you might be following @Gamecocks, @1075thegame and even @jayphilips1075 on twitter.
Some of you are probably plotting your trip down Bluff Road this evening for the first fall football practice.

And there are others of you are likely looking at every clothing purchase and thinking, “I could probably wear that to a day game in September.” (Or a night game in October. Or at all during the course of football season.)

(and no, huh uh, none of that describes me in the least bit. although I’m not going to practice tonight. I don’t think.)

But please, for the love of all things Gamecock. Please do not show up in Athens, Tuscaloosa, Knoxville or at Williams-Brice wearing this:

We dress up for football games ’round here. And just because this is a dress does not make it right.

So my hip is still out of whack. Even though the orthopod told me in March to hang on until the end of May, and all would be well… it was not meant to be. I’m still hobbling a couple of days a week, and I am most definitely not running. In fact, the only form of cardio I’m allowed, per my trainers, is the bicycle. Y’all. The recumbent bicycle is the worst activity in all of the world. It’s so boring and monotonous and just all out uncomfortable. Its only saving grace is the fact I can actually read a book while riding it — and considering the fact that I apparently only read anymore while sitting on a beach drinking beer, I’m kind of enjoying that part.

I walked in the gym last night, book in hand, and headed over to one of the 5 bicycles downstairs. I was greeted by one of the women already pedaling (not, as it should be, by the mute kid at the front desk but whatev), and we had some small talk. It wasn’t long before she continued her conversation with the woman on her other side, and I was into my book. A few minutes later, she left the other woman and me to go upstairs for her training session. Relieved to not feel even a smidge guilty about not making conversation, I continued on pedaling and reading.

And then I heard it. I thought it was maybe just a part of the radio until I realized that the woman 4 bikes over was humming. Then I thought maybe she just liked Shakira and was jamming out a little bit to “Hips Don’t Lie” but no. The humming continued through the next three songs. I was a mere 15 minutes into my ride but I couldn’t take it any more. I stopped my machine and left.

I went for a walk/run when I got home. It wasn’t far, and it wasn’t particularly great for my hip, but I had to try and see if there was to be any escape from the bike any time soon.

Unfortunately, the bike and I appear to be headed for a life-long commitment.

An excerpt from an email I sent shortly after returning from Bald Head, recapping all observations of Kate+8. What do you know, I did blog again.

I can hardly keep straight who I’ve told/texted/tweeted what (damn technology) so here are all the things I know about Kate + 8 from my trip. (these may or may not make it to the blog, depending on whether I ever blog again)

  • Her hair is bad. Really bad. Like, we walked in the market and she was facing the meat counter and Matt said “Holy shit, there’s Kate.”
  • She bought UNORGANIC Bush’s Baked Beans along with corn on the cob (white) and snap peas.
  • She was with the bodyguard who she is supposedly having an affair with. Matt and I have decided this is just a rumor.
  • TLC was filming while they were there.
  • Matt may be on tv.
  • While at the marina one morning, he saw the family leaving on the ferry for a day trip and ended up chatting with the paparazzi. Apparently Kate made herself very available, and told the paparazzi where to be to get photos, would prance around in different bikinis for photos, etc.
  • We saw the whole family on a tram about 730 Saturday night. When we got to the ferry Sunday morning to leave, the paparazzi were hovering. Matt and I have decided the family absconded in the middle of the night to trick the paparazzi.
  • Kate’s hair is really bad. Worse in real life than on tv.

In, what else? PICTURES.

I caught my first fish…

a whopper, at that.

I watched a 4 year old figure out a Wii on his own.

I saw my last Eternal Bachelor Friend get married.

I begged Matt to stop at South of the Border.

We arrived at Mammy’s without going up in the sombrero.

We arrived at Bald Head a mere 5 days into Kate + 8’s vacation.

As soon as the ferry pulled in, we saw Madi and Cara. We made it to the house, unloaded, left for the grocery and walked straight into Kate.

I have no pictures so please don’t ask.

We went in-shore fishing. I caught a couple spot tails, a flouder and a sting ray.

Matt caught this one morning.

We came home.

And Matt planted sod.

hear me roar


I watch a guy at the gym. And I know that sounds creepy, but he is so damn entertaining. I noticed him a year or more ago — a short, young guy with an obvious Napoleon complex. As best I can tell, it started innocently enough; he’d talk to the trainers about the best way to bulk up, quietly grunt a little on the bench press, admire himself in the mirror.

Something about him always made me laugh but I never could put my finger on it.

And then one night a few months ago, it was sort of crowded. My gym is on the smallish side — a far cry from a Golds, and not nearly as intimidating — and the upstairs area is a big open room with machines and free weights and cardio equipment. If there’s 15 people in there, it is admittedly a cluster. The trainer in the evenings sometimes trains 5-6 people at one time, though I have no idea how they keep up with it. It just works. So Gym Boy loudly announced to Trainer Paul, “What you need to do is schedule all of these personal training sessions during times when you know I’m not going to be here.” I almost started laughing, considering those of us training were certainly paying more to be there than he was.

Since, he’s buffed up a bit, and he’s quite proud of himself. He walks around as if he owns the place, and his quiet grunts have become full-on yells. He startled me so badly last night that I almost dropped my free weights. While doing a bench press. He asks the trainers for advice, and proceeds to interrupt and answer his own questions. He is the self-proclaimed King of The Gym.

God, I love people.

May 8, 2009


From this…

to this…

To this…

What a great day.


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