I got an email from AA today, asking me a business-related question. It was followed, however, by this:
Also… Adding machines..Really?  ZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

And I imagine he is not alone in wondering.

But for the record? Yes, my new adding machine has really spiced up my life.

My office is pretty small, and with our turnover rate essentially non-existent, everyone is much like family. We celebrate birthdays with a brief afternoon gathering in the kitchen, with a Coldstone ice cream cake, a card and a dollar bill. Generally speaking. But then there is George.

There really are no words to describe the man, only that he cannot be had. You pick on him, he comes right back with a smart ass remark. He has a story for everything, and has led quite an interesting life. He plans his day around an office birthday, even going so far as to request a cake cutting even if the recipient is out of the office. 

This year, we (as in I, considering all birthday-related duties fall to Queen of the Birthday. Obviously.) opted to have his regular birthday celebration, in addition to an entire Week of George. And what a week it’s been thus far. We told him Monday over cake that there would be some sort of treat every day this week in honor of his birthday. Only, we wouldn’t tell him what it was, or what time it would miraculously appear in the kitchen. He came in late yesterday morning and the first thing he asked our receptionist was, “Did I miss it? Did they do it already?”

And so, I present to you the first two days of the Week of George. 

Damn, I am creative.

To the right, you’ll see the adding machine circa 1988, which I have used since I started work here over five years ago. Yes, 5 years. It amazes me too.

To the left, you’ll note my new, bigger, better adding machine that probably prints numbers where you can actually read them. I assume. It’s already easier to feed the paper into — which is, in my opinion, the most annoying thing about dealing with a printing calculator on a daily basis.

(Yes, my life is this boring these days.)

Above, you will find my summer reading — some that were recommended by my local wordsmith, some I found just by playing on Amazon. What’s even greater about this stack (aside from some awesome titles) is the fact that I ordered all of it online on Monday in three (3) separate orders. And all of it arrived today, in four (4) separate packages. And did I mention the 2-day shipping was free?

Amazon has an under-utlilized feature called Amazon Prime, and for those who live in multi-person households, or who order a ridiculous amount of stuff online, this is one hell of a deal. For a mere $79 a year, you plus 3 others receive free 2-day shipping, or upgrade to overnight shipping for $3.99. Considering I fall into the “People Who Order a Ridiculous Amount of Stuff Online” category, and have paid my fair share of outrageous shipping fees, Amazon Prime is fantastic.

Friend’s 2 year old have no idea the goodness that is Goodnight Moon? Amazon.com and that child is no longer deprived.
Friend tell you about a great book? Amazon.com. They’ll probably give you a whole host of other ideas too.
Hear a great song on Pandora and want to order the cd? Amazon.com. You’ll realize there’s 3 other cds you’ve been meaning to buy.
Looking for an obscure item, such as an ice cream pint chiller? Amazon.com. Not that I’ve ever bought one.
Did each of these scenarios happen one right after the next but you’d already hit Purchase? No penalty for obsessive online purchases. JACKPOT!

I love me some Bobbi Brown cosmetics, and I’m always interested in their new products every season. Palattes and eye shadows and Beach soap bars… I’ve tried just about everything. And yesterday, I picked up my new favorite product. 

Creamy lip color. Getchu some.

It’s like chap stick and lip color all in one, without the tacky, sticky mess of gloss.

And for those who took my advice last year, the Beach sand bars are back for a limited time. Again I say, HEAVEN!

Matt’s been out of town for the past week, off doing some rural rotation in family medicine. Honestly, I have looked forward to this time alone for awhile now. I had high expectations of my Single Life Week, and my family and friends obliged me. I couldn’t wait for a week of no cooking, a week of happy hours and dinners out with friends. But by the end of the week, I was tired. Of eating out, of drinking beer (gasp!), and of not getting anything accomplished at home. Quite frankly, it was tough living a packed social life. And I missed Matthew.

I drove to Florence yesterday after lunch to spend the day with him and his family. It was so nice to catch up, to actually see his face instead of hearing him on the phone. I was pretty sad walking out the door to drive home by myself last night, knowing it would be another few days before he returned to Columbia. As I drove West, my mind bouncing from trying not to cry, to things to accomplish at work this week, to what I needed to do at home, to what we could do the following weekend, I was overwhelemed by the sunset. And I felt better. More at peace. Ready to start a new week, even without the boy in town.

Besides, the more days that pass, the quicker he comes home.

And I’m really sick of watering the bushes.

PJ tagged me to do a meme. To tell you the truth, I’ve never done a meme before… and when I checked my gmail on the way to work yesterday and saw she’d tagged me, I was praying it wasn’t to try and describe myself in 6 words or less. I was somewhat relieved to not have to figure out a way to do that, though I’d sort of decided to describe my worst traits in 6 words, my best traits in 6 words, my favorite things in 6 words.

Hooray for all of us — PJ saved the day and I’d don’t have to put any of us through that hassle.

Anyway, here’s the dealy-o.

Six Quirky Things About Me

Rules:
* Link to the person that tagged you.
* Post the rules on your blog.
* Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself.
* Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs.
* Let each random person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their website.

And so, without further adeiu, here are some random things about me ….

1. I aced my permit test but failed my first actual driving test. The redneck woman from Pelion that was riding alongside me, grading my every glance and hand movement, was displeased when I hit one of the barricades while attempting to parallel park. She glared at me and said, “In real life, you just hit a car. YOU FAIL!” To this day, I will not parallel park… even going so far as to get out of the car and switch places with my passenger.
2. I hate Pink Floyd, and have a pretty strong aversion to Led Zepplin as well. (I realize this makes me a leper in the minds of many Americans.) I actually do like Meat Loaf — bonus points for anyone who realizes which of his songs the title above comes from.
3. I had braces twice. Once in middle school, like every other person in the world. And the second time spanning my 20th-21st year. That’s right, I turned 21 with my braces on and it was awesome.
4. I only eat bananas that have green in the skins. Once it gets really yellow - or worse, dark spots appear - I wouldn’t be caught dead eating it. I also like peanut butter and banana sandwiches with mayonnaise. Don’t knock it til you’ve tried it.
5. I hate the snooze button. I actually get up and reset my alarm for later in the morning. Up until recently, I had my clock set 10 minutes fast… only, I’d take that extra 10 minutes into account every time I set an alarm. Instead of setting the alarm for 630, I’d set it for 640. Admittedly, it defeated the purpose. I am on real time these days, though rarely actually On Time, if you know what I mean. 
6. I can’t resist a survey. I love a survey — sent to me in the mail, on email, on the telephone… I am a sucker. The email ones amongst friends are my favorites, and fortunately for me, I’m not the only one who enjoys coming up with a creative answer for questions like “What was your favorite toy as a child?” (anything that allowed me to be a Leader and you to be The Minion, obviously.)

I’m tagging Stara, Kristin, Erin, Alison, Desiree, and just for a little flava — Uncle Urb.

New Kids on the Block will be performing live on the Today show Friday, May 16th. At the crack of dawn, as per usual.

Who’s coming with me?

Emily was telling me today that her 18-month old son has a tri-lingual girl in his class. I don’t think most 18-month olds can speak full sentences, much less 3 languages… but maybe I’m wrong. Anyway, come to find out, the mom is French and the dad is Ethiopian. I was beside myself as I asked, “Does he speak Ethernopian?”

And so, allow me to take you back to the glory days of the politically incorrect Southpark… when the boys received an Ethernopian in lieu of a digital sports watch. (The first minute:46 is the best. After that, it’s a pretty boring montage of clips.)

Happy Wednesday.

Not like that’s a news flash… 

Anyway, I’ve found the gym to be the most interesting study in people lately. From my observations, I’ve derived some questions. Because I can’t take it anymore.

• Why do you pay for a personal trainer, only to whine and complain when he tells you to do something?
• Or, better yet, when the trainer tells you to do something, you tell him all the reasons you can’t do it. And what you’d like to do instead. Last time I checked, he was the trainer and you were the client paying for strength training. And apparently you haven’t done very well on your own, now have you?
• Why (good grief, WHY, PEOPLE?!) do you pay for a personal trainer, and then spend 45 of your 60 minutes chatting it up with either the trainer, or other gym members? I’ve mentioned this one before but it seems to be getting worse instead of better. I trained Friday, and I swear, every time I turned around, this one woman was doing the same exercise. By the time my hour+ was up and Paul bid me adieu, I heard her whining, “Why does everyone get to go home but me?” Because everyone else has made good use of their time and you’ve told your life story instead.
• If you are still a mo-ron and still insist on talking to every thing that breathes, get off the machines. Some of us are trying to finish and go home.

  I’d be willing to bet they highlighted a lot in college.

Have I ever mentioned how enthralled I am with instant gratification? I think it’s one of the causes of my incredible procrastination ability — if it’s going to take a long time, involve a lot of work, and still more time to even see the light at the end of the tunnel, then… well, I might get to it. One day.

As I’ve alluded to a few times, I loathe yard work. I don’t particularly like to get dirty or risk snake and bug bites. And, quite frankly, I don’t know what I’m doing. Another cause of my procrastination: not knowing how something works. Or quite what to do from there. The fear of digging up all the bushes in front of my house and not knowing how to do it properly.

Luckily for me, Matthew has no such fear. We drove out to a nursery the Saturday of Easter weekend and he pointed out the plants for my beds which, unbeknownst to me, he had been designing in his head for months. We returned and he started pulling out the azaleas and the holly bushes and the tea olives. With a snatch rope and a pick up. It wasn’t 2 hours later that my front yard went from this (ignore the limbs, etc… this is from another yard cleanup weekend, and the best I can do in terms of before pictures. Use your overactive imagination.)

to this.

Just like that.

He spent the week reshaping the bed and transplanting grass to the backyard, all in preparation of Saturday’s exciting adventure. Which involved this

and this

and some of this.

Miraculously, we unloaded and planted some 40 shrubs in just under 4 hours. We were finishing the 8 bales of pinestraw when the sky opened and the rain came down. And before anyone asks, yes, I did help. A lot. There might just be something to this whole yard work thing… one nursery trip, a fun dump truck ride, a few hours and voila…

Instant gratification!